[SCENE: me chasing my kid through a giant indoor playground structure]
Random Boy: Why are you carrying a sippy cup?
Me: [indicating my kid a few meters away] So my kid has something to drink.
Random Boy: [eyes glinting]...I can hunt your kid for you.
Friends, I think I just met a kid assassin.
Honestly impressed by the number of ways my body can low-key fail with age
Much respect to the mom at the playground yesterday whose tramp stamp was an inspirational quote
death Show more
I've been asked to read a poem or scripture at my uncle's funeral on Saturday. I've got some good candidates, but I'm struggling with theme.
Do I talk about how death comes for us all eventually?
That the pain of loss is the price of joy?
The best way to honor the dead is to help the living?
That life is an evolution and no one is ever fully understood?
He and I weren't especially close, but he was good to me and I want to honor him. So do I speak of him, the audience, or Life itself?
Happy Birthday, Calendar!
ME: [about to make a cut on some wrapping paper]
ALSO ME: [jumping out of a time machine from a two minutes in the future] you're going to want that a few centimeters longer
A nativity scene, but with xenomorphs
Woah, shots fired - by Macleans no less!
"Tim Hortons is not a defining national institution. Rather, it is a chain of thousands of doughnut shops, several of which have working toilets."
So, Bulk Barn's pricing model seems to be less "we buy in bulk and pass the savings on to you"
"where else are you gonna get 50 lbs of yeast?"